Empty Joy

We had wanted this for a long time. We believed a baby was what made a couple whole. But we could not have a baby of our own. We had to go through other channels to make this desire a reality. It was heartbreaking for Melissa and Sam when this reality was taken away.

It all started when Kim, one of our best friends, announced she was pregnant and was not keeping the baby. She had just gone through a terrible breakup with her boyfriend, Jake, when she found out she was pregnant. Jake did not want to have anything to do with her or the baby. She had recently been promoted at work, and without support from her boyfriend, a baby did not fit in with her plans.

She knew we had already started the adoption process and what we were up against. Adopting a newborn can take years. The number of couples on waitlists is staggering. And these are traditional couples. There’s a completely separate waitlist for couples like us. The adoption agencies deny this of course, but we have talked to too many other couples in our situation to believe otherwise. So when Kim asked if we would raise her baby, we were overjoyed. She smiled and said, “I have known you guys for a long time. You’re like family. I can’t imagine my baby being raised in a more loving, and caring home.” Melissa and Sam were dizzy with happiness.

“We don’t know how we will ever be able to express our gratitude to you,” Melissa gushed to Kim as the baby was placed in her arms. “She’s right,” Sam agreed, “you have given us a miracle.” We couldn’t get enough of her. Melissa would put her down, and Sam would immediately pick her up. We knew this could spoil her, but she was the most precious thing to us, and if we spoiled her, so what. We named her Cassandra Grace.

The days passed by, one blissful day after another. Melissa stayed home with little Cassie, that’s what we called her, while Sam went to work. We had both agreed this would be the best arrangement. Sam made quite a bit more than Melissa did. Besides, a lot of Sam’s work could be done at home. This flexibly afforded Sam plenty of time to dote on little Cassie. We had it made. A loving home, made whole by a brand new baby. That is until the day the phone rang and shattered our perfect peace.

Melissa handed the phone to Sam. Kim was on the other end, barely coherent though the sobbing. “It’s awful Sam,” she cried. “Jake is at the courthouse right now. I tried to stop him, but he is going through with it.” When we finally pieced together what Kim was trying to tell us, we felt sick. Kim said it was Jake’s parents who started it all. They convinced him to file for custody. They claimed they didn’t know of the baby until she was already adopted. Kim did not believe this though. “I know them, I know the kind of things they believe,” she told us. “It’s not about them wanting to raise the baby; it’s about them not wanting you two to raise the baby.”

We were devastated. We couldn’t love little Cassie any more if she were our own flesh and blood. The thought of losing her was more than we could bear. We collapsed into each other’s arms. Our sobbing was joined by crying rushing out from little Cassie’s room down the hall. She doesn’t deserve this. Neither do we.